This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
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