Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
her vagine was all disorganized.
no, he came in my armpit
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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