i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
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