i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Randomize
