Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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