I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
