as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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