you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
