I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
