That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Randomize