Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
