My first STD was from a foam party
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize