you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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