I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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