Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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