I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
