and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
