ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
