She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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