Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
