Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
