I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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