we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Randomize
