thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Randomize