I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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