We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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