I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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