Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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