worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
