Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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