there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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