I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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