She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
