Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
My life is pants optional.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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