I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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