Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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