did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
no more duck duck goose at the bar
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
