just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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