i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
