This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
