I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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