Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
