Someone shit on the floor
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
