How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
