he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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