Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
