i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
