I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
