how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
