hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize