Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize