Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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