She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Randomize
