You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize