Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
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