she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
NoShamevember. You game?
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
