Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
