David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
