Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
