Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
