yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I didn't notice because vodka
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Randomize
