grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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