Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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