I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
