just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
