I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize