whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
