apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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