Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
How external is "for external use only"?
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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